Emotional Dive

I have been feeling under the weather lately. I don’t know if there is any explainable reason for all this. I have too much too think I guess. The thing is I’m not really sure what the fuck it is that is bothering me. Maybe it’s just the weather. It is like 200 degree celsius in Negeri Sembilan. Maybe I am a bit worn out and tired. Maybe I need a new haircut. I seriously have no fucking idea. Even cigarettes couldn’t do what it supposed to do.


Maybe I should start chanting my own mantra. The good ones that can possibly turn my life around. Or maybe all I need at the moment is CHANGE.. From the way that things are going right now, I am kinda sick of all this. This job, this place, this surrounding, this whole pretending to be an educator thing?! It’s like leading a double life.

I have to wear this horrible company shirt on Wednesday. It’s half orange and half black. It is the kind of shirt that will never get near my closet. I won’t even want to touch it. But right now, believe it or not, I have to wear it for almost the whole day! I hate it, seriously I do.. I feel like an idiot everyday.here...but on Wednesday I feel like a MORON!

I was having this long chat with Ridwan the other night. I just couldn’t help but tell him that I am actually not really a huge fan of my own job. Seriously! I hate teaching. It’s just painful to go to classes everyday and talk about the same thing over and over again.. So much for the fabulous shit that I have been pushing all over this blog page. Fabulous shit! Just bull-shit..